My biggest bugaboo as a fiction writer is having to go back and rewrite whole paragraphs, and even whole scenes, because they too often tell, rather than show. The notes I write to myself in the margins of almost every page of a first draft are the same, over and over: Show don’t tell? Show don’t tell?
I understand the concept, of course. A reader needs to see a character living such-and-such experience rather than merely be told about it. Long paragraphs of telling are tedious. Those are the bits readers skip.
I guess that’s why, as I’m getting the first draft fleshed out, my inner editor hollers, Hey, what does this look like? You’re not showing!
She reminds me almost constantly that I need to remember to show.
Don’t say, “Bub was angry.” Show him throwing things, slamming doors, shouting with red face and bulging eyes, and maybe a tic. Leave out the weak verbs. Get rid of the passive voice. Write actively.
I have to remind myself to look for all five senses. It’s not just about what something looks like. What does it smell like? What about taste, touch, and sound?
But I also have to remind myself that too much description can be as bad or worse than not enough. It’s all about balance.
Sometimes I wonder, Do I need to show this? It’s really a matter of judgment, isn’t it? It seems to me that I have to trust my reader to be able to imagine certain details. If s/he doesn’t see something exactly the way I’m envisioning it, as long as it’s not vital to the plot, then it really doesn’t matter.
Or does it?
Apr 23, 2014 @ 18:54:43
It’s funny because when I decided to write a novel that I wanted to read (long story … 😉 ) one of the things I was sure that I was doing wrong was describing every single thing. Are my characters sweating? What does the wind feel like on their skin? Is my MC’s mouth dry? How does he feel when the woman of his dreams walks into the bar? What is all that stuff in his bedroom? Why is it there? I wanted to immerse myself in my story world, and the best way I’ve found to do that is to let loose with the details.
As a result, my revision process involves a lot of cutting. Learning how step back and ‘tell’ a story once in a while might be something that I need to work on!
Apr 23, 2014 @ 19:04:02
Right indeed–it’s all about balance. I suspect most of us tip one way or the other in drafting, but in revision, if we’re lucky, it will all level out!
Apr 23, 2014 @ 12:12:49
It’s definitely tough and there are times for telling. BTW, I did telling flags for my T AtoZ post.
Marlene at On Writing and Riding
Apr 23, 2014 @ 16:37:07
You’re way ahead of me–I haven’t even figured out what to do for T yet! I’ll definitely go take a look. I love your blog!
Apr 23, 2014 @ 10:06:49
I follow another blogger whise A to Z theme is “show; don’t tell”. As a newbie blogger, I’ve learned a lot from her, and your excellent post adds to that knowledge. Thank you! ( even though the discipline of showing sometimes makes you tear your hair out!)
Apr 23, 2014 @ 16:34:57
Yes it does, but it’s good for me! I’ll have to look for the A-Z “show don’t tell” blog. I haven’t seen that one yet. Thanks for letting me know about it!
Apr 23, 2014 @ 17:30:14
She’s at http://lynnelives.wordpress.com
Enjoy!
Apr 23, 2014 @ 19:04:50
Thanks!
Apr 23, 2014 @ 08:47:51
I can’t even tell you how many books I have on this subject. I am a story teller, not at story show(er). Show(er) is not even a word which tells me that showing isn’t natural. How should I have written this? Sunlight hit the shelves, the glaring titles of Show not Tell accusing her of telling. See, that’s not even it. LIke I said, it’s unnatural.
Apr 23, 2014 @ 16:26:04
The funny thing is that as an instructor of academic writing, I’m constantly reminding my students to do the same. I think we all have a tendency to “tell” stories, but as readers, we much prefer being shown. At least, I do. 🙂